Desire for the Dull

Have you ever been at a point in your life where your prayer life goes like, “Jehovah God, I do not mean any disrespect but I have noticed that You are working very hard to dissuade me from doing the very thing that I did not want to do in the first place.”

Now if you are new here let me give you a brief introduction of who I am.

I am uncomplicated. Now, I know a couple of people who will dispute this, but allow me to qualify the statement. To a very large extent, if I do not want to do something, you will know about it. My yes means yes and my no means no. If due to undue social pressure I say yes and I mean no, my face will betray my true feelings. I also tend not to read in between the lines and neither do I speak with the idea that the recipient will read in between the lines. So you can only imagine how exciting my relationships are * troubled sigh*

Due to my uncomplicated nature I desire to have an uncomplicated life. Predictable. Boring even.

Who I am has been largely shaped by the events of who I was. When I was younger I wanted excitement, just a touch of drama and a whole lot of adventure. I desperately wanted to be taken on an adventure.

The prospect of meeting and knowing God gave the promise of an exciting adventure mainly because of all the promises He made to me.

But as the years went by, and the fulfillment of the promises dragged on, I figured that perhaps it was youthful zeal rather than the voice of God compelling me towards an adventure.

This gradual realization causes me to shift my focus to see what God was doing rather than what I thought He wanted to do. I then found adventure in slight shifts in my plans; waking up 5 minutes later than I would, changing my meal plans in the middle of the week and having coloured socks.

Over time, I found contentment in what was in front of me and lost the wonder for what could be.

Maybe Abraham felt the same way about the promises of God.

Genesis 12:1-2

Now [in Haran] the Lord said to Abram, Go for yourself [for your own advantage] away from your country, from your relatives and your father’s house, to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you [with abundant increase of favors] and make your name famous and distinguished, and you will be a blessing [dispensing good to others].

Genesis 12:4

So Abram departed, as the Lord had directed him; and Lot [his nephew] went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he left Haran.

We see God’s promise of an adventure, excitement and treasure; the adventure in leaving all he knows, the excitement in going to a place he doesn’t know and the treasure in being a nation, in finally having a lineage, a child of his own.

Genesis 15:1-5

After these things, the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision, saying, Fear not, Abram, I am your Shield, your abundant compensation, and your reward shall be exceedingly great. ² And Abram said, Lord God, what can You give me, since I am going on [from this world] childless and he who shall be the owner and heir of my house is this [steward] Eliezer of Damascus? ³ And Abram continued, Look, You have given me no child; and [a servant] born in my house is my heir. ⁴ And behold, the word of the Lord came to him, saying, This man shall not be your heir, but he who shall come from your own body shall be your heir. ⁵ And He brought him outside [his tent into the starlight] and said, Look now toward the heavens and count the stars—if you are able to number them. Then He said to him, So shall your descendants be.

Some time passes (probably years) and maybe he feels that the adventure was about the bounty, and the battles that he fought and won. Perhaps the promised nation had nothing to do with him having biological children and he asks God about it. God doesn’t seem to change His mind about it, but I think Abraham made peace with the idea that he would leave his legacy (and the wealth attached to it), to his servant.

Genesis 17:1

When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to him and said, I am the Almighty God; walk and live habitually before Me and be perfect (blameless, wholehearted, complete).

Genesis 17:17-18

Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed and said in his heart, Shall a child be born to a man who is a hundred years old? And shall Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a son? ¹⁸ And [he] said to God, Oh, that Ishmael might live before You!

A whopping 24 years (or 25 years depending on who is talking) passes and Abraham has probably settled into the new way of life. He is wealthy. He finally has a child – Ishmael was still his biological child. He is in a new country and with territory he has marked as his own.

So when God still talks about aspects of the adventure yet to be had, he can only laugh. It is indeed ridiculous to still look for an adventure at that age especially when all the loose ends have been tied right?

And in my own way my adventure felt complete in my eyes. I loved my coloured socks, the random decisions to make pizza in the middle of the night, the flutter in my stomach when I walk into the supermarket and finally find the brand of soap that I had searched everywhere for and the pure delight of finding a pretty pair of shoes that actually fit me.

The monotony became my new adventure.

Abraham laughed at the prospect of another adventure. Another child. At 100 years? Who does that?

God does.

The minute you do not want to go on an adventure He hoists the sails, tapping His feet to the rhythm of the sailors song He is whistling while beckoning you to the high seas.

Jehovah God does enjoy, sometimes to an infuriating extent, working very hard to dissuade me from doing the very thing that I do not want to do.